In my head

Sitting on the balcony and enjoying the nice weather (27°C with warm summery wind breezes). Writting a new post while listening to the sound of joyful birds and watching my tom cat lazing in the sun next to my feet.

It's been a while since I've blogged and I'm very thankful for your understanding and patience with me. Really, THANK YOU!

I got my exams over and done. Actually, I took my last one the previous week. Though I'm a little bit afraid to see the results I still cannot wait to finally get them. But for now I'll have to be in the dark for two more weeks.

Anyhow, I've been trying to put my thoughts into words for the last few days. So far without much success. But I might as well just try writing everything right away and go over it afterwards a few times. :)

I myself have always been my sternest judge. Thus it's no big surprise that I've been disappointed in myself. This year I've made a few decisions that back when I made them I was all honest with myself and could agree them with my moral. However, I now feel that I might have pit my standards too high.

Also I'm not too sure how much I believe in those things by now anymore. I'm feeling a little bit lost between my standards, principles, moral.

I tend to put too much pressure onto myself ending up not beeing able to enjoy standing up for them and believing in their rightness.

Since frustration is what I want to avoid the most I make compromises with myself.

As you can see I'm still figuring out a lot of things and I'm far away from finding answers or the right solutions for me. There's still a long path lying in front of my and I'll have to make much more compromises in order to not lose my hope and end up giving up.

source

So here I stand at somewhat like the beginning of the path with a smile on my lips and a strong love for life. Always watching only ahead and keeping my past in mind. That's my lexigraphy (Lexi's biography^^).

source

But before making the next steps I want to let you know that I'm very thankful for your support and your motivating comments. I still wish that I could answer them but blogger still does not have fixed this problem so far. :( I really can't stress enough how much joy I experience every time I see that someone left a comment under a post.

Much <3,

Lexi